The Internet Has A Lot Of
People Who Failed So Spectacularly They Almost Won
There’s An Artist Who Drinks Colored Milk And Throws It Up All Over Canvases
A New Jersey Cheerleader Is Suing Her Parents To Pay Her College Tuition
A 14YearOld Boy’s Poem Goes Viral, Appears To Be Copied
This Is Completely Normal And American, And Actually Not Shocking At All
Some People Don’t Have A Problem Destroying Something Everyone Loves
A Snake Killed A Crocodile And Swallowed It Whole
A Young Giraffe At The Copenhagen Zoo Was Publicly Killed And Fed To Lions
A Man Woke Up In A Bodybag Right Before He Was About To Be Embalmed
So Just Look Up The Place You Were Born On This Little Chart And Check Out When You’ll Probably Die
Stop Everything You Are Doing And Watch This Dog Dance
Watch This Dog Fail At Being A Dog
Watch This Dog Say “Blah Blah Blah” Like A Human
This Dancing Dog Is Every Drunk Person Ever
What Kind Of Dog Are You?
What Kind Of Drink Are You Going To Need After Work Tonight?
Poetry – Published in Paperbag, 2015
Link to publication