Okay, I definitely deserve a late pass for this one, but maybe some of you are like me, and you haven’t been spending much time surveying the energy drink section of your local bodega’s refrigerator.

If that’s the case, you may not have come across the urban market version of what seems to be the latest trend in the slender can category. It’s purple, it tastes pretty much like grape soda, and, like the dialogue of a good 90’s black sitcom, it wants you to “Slow Your Roll.” It’s called Drank and it’s one of the more popular drinks in a category of beverages being marketed as “Anti-Energy” drinks.

Drank, along with Slow Cow (which gets a gold star for most awesome referential-branding-bordering-on-copyright-infringement), Mary Jane’s (yep, they’re referencing that Mary Jane), ViB (Vacation in a Bottle), Malava Novacaine, and a bunch of others, are all drinks which claim to have ingredients that are meant to chill the drinker out.

I was put on to Drank by my good friend, Matt, who somehow always manages to stay one step ahead of the game when it comes to new beverages. He professed that the drink induced a sort of euphoric state of relaxation, rivaled only by this Souls of Mischief song.

Upon trying it, I can’t exactly say I felt anything, but it got me thinking about the likelihood that such a drink as Drank may very well represent a shift in American values.

Only a few years ago, every major beverage company was trying to compete with Red Bull, but after a sobering decade and the reality of living ITTET, could it be that Americans want nothing more than to just chill the fuck out? If several companies are now trying to sell us drinks to do just that, I’d reckon so. Capitalism is, after all, the great barometer of our collective integrity.

links:
Drank
Slow Cow
ViB (warning: this site has annoying background music)